Things heard from State Troopers

Thought I'd post some things that E has probably said when he has pulled somebody over.


1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”

6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”

8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, a fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”

11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” ( National Crime Information Center )

13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”

14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”

15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

AND THE WINNER IS….

16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”


Here is another one...
I heard a story from a guy recently who got pulled over for speeding. He was in a pack with other cars, all of whom were speeding.

When the trooper came to the car, he said to the guy, “you know how when you are duck hunting and you fire into a flock, one drops?”

“Yeah” said the guy

“You that duck”

Pretty cool!

I have used several of those over the years.

A Trooper friend of mine told me this "Sir, here is a coupon off your next paycheck for speeding"

I had an unmarked car several years ago and a guy said "That's not fair, we don't have a chance" to which I asked "Sir do you hunt?" and he replied "Yes"
and I asked him "do you wear camouflage clothes when you go into the woods?" and he replied "Yes" and I said "That is the same thing I am doing"

I have also told people who want to argue about how they got picked out for speeding when everyone else was speeding "Sir, when you go fishing, do
you catch all the fish at once or one at the time?"


Sometimes you just have to laugh at the excuse you get from people, MANY people have the go to the bathroom when you stop them for speeding
but they don't have an answer when you ask them about all the stores or exits they just passed.

I swear I almost want to get stopped for speeding just so i can answer.. But the airfield flag is dropping!!!

rapidfx wrote:

I swear I almost want to get stopped for speeding just so i can answer.. But the airfield flag is dropping!!!

E

rapidfx wrote:

I swear I almost want to get stopped for speeding just so i can answer.. But the airfield flag is dropping!!!

rapidfx wrote:

I swear I almost want to get stopped for speeding just so i can answer.. But the airfield flag is dropping!!!